2 posts tagged “humanity”
and it beginning again. me being very bad about posting. apologies.
the truth is, that for some odd reason, we as human beings seem to seek some kind of order. you can live in the most chaotic environment ever, and ever day can seem like pure chaos, but there is always some kind of routine under it all. something is very seldom completely random.
and, i am no exception.
somehow, even after moving around the world, ending up in gaza, and doing crazy things every day, i have still managed to find a routine.
it may have a few odd-ball moments, like...well, i don't want to go into too many specifics as my family is likely reading, but they involve the fun militant-nature of gaza and its neighbours.
anyway, even in the midst of that there is a routine. wake up, check email, convoy to work, a few minutes of quite, then the first 6 hour shift of chaos while everyone is in the office, an hour for lunch, and then the next 7-8 hour shift of slightly less chaos, but certainly more randomness. then after a 13-14 hour day, an hour in the gym, home, and making dinner with colleagues, sharing a bottle of wine, and off to bed.
sure, the fare of each day differs, but the general routine is the same. its different enough to keep my attention, but routine enough to build comfort and safety. i guess thats got to be a people thing, liking to have routine.
we went on a fun field trip today. and it really felt like a field trip. being the middle car in the convoy, and us internationals squashed in the back seat of a hardened vehicle, with our cp up front. it was like being 5 and sitting in the back of a school bus.
but it was also really fun. and humbling to see the beauty of this place and the absolute poverty all at once. and realise that when i sit at my desk going through papers, and writing responses and talking to people, this is not some exercise for a class, or some meaningless answer the phone job. everything i do has an impact on someone else. i'm 22 and i have the ability to completely alter another human beings life.
i suppose thats my poignant thought of the day. you can't ask for things like this, they just sort of happen. and its how you deal with them that shows who you really are.
and now its time for bed, as i have a 6am start tomorrow, another 13-14 hour day, and then a goodbye party. ah yes, the life.
everyone knows that there is poverty in the world. but its one thing to realise that there is poverty and to donate clothes or food or volunteer at a soup kitchen. driving through the strip today i was reminded of what poverty really is. visiting families who have nothing, who live in crumbling structures, have fridges full of over-ripe produce, no meat in sight, a minimum of seven children, sometimes three generations under one roof, and perhaps two rooms? seeing that, and seeing that it is not simply one isolated case, that it is how a large portion of the population lives here, it reminds one of what needs to be done.
it was also interesting how happy most of these people were. how the families clung together and functioned as a real unit. how they functioned with what they had and did not complain but only thanked us for what we could give and for our efforts. now that is truly humbling. i suppose it is also good to remember what this job is about. one is not simply larking about, but trying to make life better for the general population.
and it is in such contrast to the luxury of my flat, that i have electricity, hot water, a gas stove, and internet. all readily available and functioning. i suppose as long as one realises that these things are in opposition and maintains an awareness that it is mostly acceptable. and really, what other options are there??
it was also fascinating to realise that everything that i read about, i am part of that now. the donations that come in, i help to facilitate those conversations. the humanitarian supplies that manage to make it over the border, i'm a part of that. i'm also sitting slap bang in the middle of what is to become history. driving around the strip today, seeing the bastions of yellow-Fatah flags and green-Hamas flags, sometimes flying next to each other, sometimes one as an island amidst a sea of the other. this is not sitting on the tube reading the economist. this is being in the middle of what those stories are about.
along with the field visit today, and a new discovery of humility. i had a rather odd experience of..not quite notoriety, but something like that. we're not allowed out unless we're in a hardened convoy. but, we can run up the street to the corner store if we take a guard with us. as we are a humanitarian mission our guards are not armed. however, our building is right next to an ESF checkpoint, and often times they undertake sort of a 'double-duty' and also watch our entrance. so when a colleague and i set out with out guard to the shop, we also ended up with an armed ESF guard wandering behind us and standing watch outside the shop while we perused. it was a completely bizarre experience.
it also brought home that nothing is ever simple about politics. certainly not once you are on the ground of a situation. i am not condoning any actions taken by any side in this issue. but when you actually come face to face with your average everyday member of any group (whether it be Hamas, Fatah, or the IDF) is adds a certain human element and it makes you question everything. this certainly doesn't make life easier, but life, in these situations, is not supposed to be simple. if a solution in this situation is simple then something is wrong with it. everything about an answer here is difficult and involves sacrifice and compromise. the old adage of looking for a simple solution is not an option here.
re-reading this i realise that it sounds a bit bleak and i don't mean it to be. if ever i have seen hope it has been here. these people who have lost out under absolutely everyone and have the most right of any to be cynical and pessimistic remain hopeful. i suppose that is another good lesson to take away. but, while they are hopeful, they are also realistic. and there is a lot brewing here right now. people are nervous for what will come after Ramadan,both internally and externally. and people are concerned about this conference. i too am concerned on both counts, especially if there is not some tangible outcome from the conference. i think some politicians and leaders have lost sight of that human element, and while its all good and well for them to stick to their principles and ideals, what really needs to happen is for them to take care of their people, and that includes those who cannot care for themselves. everyone, throughout the last fifty years, has kicked the shit out the Palestinians and no one has called them on it. that needs to change, and someone, in fact many someones, need to stop living in the past and looking at what was, and realise what is and that it needs to change for these people to have a chance at a decent life.
talking to the girls in the visits today was very good for that. these girls were beautiful, smiling and a bit nervous, they all wanted to look at my id and try to pronounce my name, they wanted to talk about their classes, their family, and clothes. there was no politics, there was no mention of religion. they just want a chance to live without threats to their families or their studies. they want a chance to travel, to perhaps go to the West Bank or Jerusalem to see what else is out there.
i'll stop now because this is becoming rather heavy. but it really brought home the importance of what is going on here and that it needs to be maintained and taken care of, because right now, we are nursing the dreams and hopes of the inhabitants of this area. if those go then we're all in a bad spot.
